With Me

This is the place I've always known. I've been hurt and abused here, tried and tested. I've never experienced the warmth of another, a love I can call mine. They always leave. Always leaving with parts of me. I've never been comforted or felt secure.

Where can I get this love? The one church folks always talk about? Where can I find this Jesus they always preach about? Is He only at Church? I want him here. With me. Now. Maybe if I sing the songs they do and repeat the words they say He'll come.

It's not working. He isn't coming. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. Maybe I'm not worth His time. I'm tired of feeling empty. I don’t know what true love looks like, please show it to me. What's this feeling? What's happening? My eyes are wet, am I crying? Does this normally happen?

The air shifted, there is  a stillness now. Is someone there? It's HIM. Its Jesus, He’s here. But am I worthy? Something is changing and I can feel it. ‘Here is where the dead things come back to living'. It all makes sense now. This is what I've been lacking. This is the place I've been searching for, here is a love that overwhelms me. Here is a place I want to call home. Here is a place where love finds me. ‘I feel my heart beating again’ In your arms is where I feel whole. It's where I can be truly free, where I feel I belong.

He loves me, despite my faults, He cares for me as His own. He gave up his life for mine even when I was His enemy. He wants to be mine and wants me to be His. I long to be by His side. I long to be at home. I can't lose this place. I can't lose this place. Don't lose your place at His feet. Here is where I found refuge, where miracles take place. Here is where my savior is. He lives here, the one that cares for me. Here is where I always want to be.

By M. Williams