MASTERING THE ART OF MENTAL SLAVERY

It is unbelievable, unexpected, 'un-everything' that you think of me. No, I'm not proud of it but this is my unwanted reality, it is my next-door neighbor, the very thing that happens right in the time when all I want or all I speak about is freedom - Mental Slavery. This parasite, this threat, this bondage, this very thing that is making its home in my mind. It's not like I wake up every day saying "Hey lock me up!" or "I desperately want to stay here bound by my thoughts" or "Fears and Doubts please allow my insecurities to restrict me from Peace and Love!", but it just happens!

Every time I think that I am free there is another chain that is connected to another and another 'thing' that's attached to another 'thing'. It gives me a sense of freedom but I am still chained. How do you move from that? How do you get free from it when you cannot forget the details of what happened?! 

A freedman bound to a mental jail worries the definition of freedom in their life.

This is HARD and constantly I hear, "Oh no worries, it wasn't meant to be easy and if it was easy anybody could have done it", YEAH TRUE BUT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS THOUGH! The reality, the truth is that this is hard to understand and worse to be caught up in. Physically freed yet mentally incarcerated - there's no logic in it, but it happens every single day. In the same breath, You smile but you're in pain, you pray but you're in fear, you encourage but you're in doubt. Imagine you are free, you smile, you pray, you do all these things but you are still mentally scampering because you are still in fear.

Like it or not, mastering mental slavery is not something you asked for but something you continue to feed. Ask yourself this, where's your mind, and who's in control of your mind? Is it that your parents or spouse have a say or your friends or things around you? Do they have a direct say in what your mind does and how it operates? 

NO! People and things can influence and provoke your thoughts, yes but who feeds those thoughts, who sit years interviewing something that was said or done even though the candidate has already moved on? YOU ARE IN CONTROL - We sing songs and quote scriptures about giving up our minds and allowing our minds to be conformed to the word of God and His direction but we overlook the fact that these are all choices that we still have to make! We have to decide how we want to govern the traffic of our minds and if we train our minds to accept certain things and feed them with dysfunctional data, it will consistently produce dysfunction. So after a while, you have taught your mind how to function dysfunctionally, focusing on things and circumstances that you cannot change and people who will never listen to you and of course your past.That is how you've mastered mental slavery. Congratulations Shavae! You have forced yourself to think and operate this way and you have mastered it! Your mind is now working in an organized dysfunctional manner and it doesn't even know because it trusts you. We want to quickly place the blame for this on people but remember when situations came up and you fed your mind with the garbage and waste laying around from the evidence of that situation - you did not even allow yourself to heal before consuming anything, you went straight for the very thing that hurt you and you digested it all into your system. Whether we like it or not, this is happening to us. Still fighting with this dysfunction, still operating behind a mask, still hiding, still crying, still tearing up over things that happened 10, 15 years ago. WHY, all because I've mastered dysfunction. 

"... Sighs! Let me start cleaning up now then because I hate feeling like this…"Imagine trying to organize your 18-year-old, 25-year-old, 40-year-old mind?  Trying to file and delete, shift, cut, and paste. It's humanly impossible and unreasonable because it takes away from your 'now' - time is not going to wait for you to do all that. So it starts with your now, not trying to track back to the past but starting with this exact moment.

I have to want this for myself and be able to put in the work to unlearn and relearn daily so I do not make the same mistakes I made in the past ...doing what I  can do with the now! The comforting part is that we have a Father and a Friend all wrapped up in one that craves to be a part of it all if we allow Him to (even that is still your choice!). In being a part of it with you, He clears up the past and perfects your reality for you so you can now see it. You've perfected dysfunction but with only His help will He perfectly, 'perfect' (def: verb - make something completely free from faults or defects, make as good as possible) your dysfunction!

I am still learning to trust Him with every thought and every mental traffic  - This mental slavery has been fruitful for decades but it is time for that tree to be uprooted and destroyed.

Written by:

SHAVAE SCALE (Ms.)

Mental Health Advocate, Founder of The Unseen Me 

Instagram: @the.unseenme @su3.jan  

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