Call Upon Me
Hello?...hello? You don’t answer when I call, you ignore me like everyone else. Some loving Father you are. I’m in pain and what do you do? Nothing. What’s the point of obedience if I still suffer anyways? They say in you there is peace and joy but all I’ve felt these last few months is agony. Hello?! Do you not hear me talking to you? How long do I have to keep feeling like this? How many tears have to soak through my pillow to get your attention? How loud must my soul scream for you to finally hear me? I am so sick of this. I just want to be okay, is that too much to ask? To just be okay? And you said you’d never leave me but I feel so awfully alone in all this. No one seems to understand. They all say I’ll be okay but I don’t see a way out of this. HELLO! ANSWER ME! …please.
“No, thank you. I’m not going to pray today.”
“Talk to you so you can ignore me again? Absolutely not.”
People like to talk about how you never fail, well it sure feels like you have this time but whatever, I don’t care. I’ll watch enough series until my thoughts go numb. The songs of the world will silence the still voice. The spirit in a bottle will push back the hurt and feelings of betrayal. If I can’t be okay, at least I’ll be drunk. I’m sure I can scroll enough to avoid the pain, the likes and laughs are far more satisfying than anything you’ve ever offered. I’m done, done hoping, done praying and expecting you to show up. You never do. I give up. You said you love me but it’s obvious you don’t. I’m done, leave me alone.
Who told you that? Why are you choosing to believe a lie? I am the truth and the ONLY way. Why do you walk the way of destruction? Fun though it may be, it’s still destructive. Yes you have found satisfaction, but only for a time, the door at the end is still death. Are you going to listen this time? You keep saying I don’t hear you but you haven’t been listening. I answered you but you didn’t want that answer, every time I spoke, you spoke over me. I’ve been waiting for you to be quiet. What could I have said when your voice was louder than mine? Now you’ve allowed the voice of the liar to consume your mind.
Call upon me, call my name and I will answer. If Eve had called upon me when the serpent spewed his lies would I not have come to her defence? Would I not spare her from his tricks? If Euphraim had called upon me in their time of distress, would I not have rescued them? If you had called and waited, would you not have found comfort? Why do my children seek to repeat history? Did I not leave it here for a lesson? When will you learn? Call upon me with your whole heart, not just the part that wants an answer.
My promises may not look the way you expected but that’s because they’re MY promises. Why suffer alone where there is no gain? If you suffer with me I can teach you, I can restore you. If you suffer with me you will reign with me. You can’t see the full picture but I promise you, it’s beautiful. The sunrise is coming though the night seems dark. Call upon me my child. What looks like failure only requires your patience, I’m perfecting your faith. I’m here, I promise I’m here. Endure another day and call upon your Father.
By T. A. Wright
